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Real talk. 
Not prosetry. 

Mental illness becoming a fad, why? Why wish something so destructive upon yourself for a few excuses, a little sympathy?

Because there is nothing romantic about screaming obscenities and throwing things alone, by yourself; nothing romantic about drinking a whole bottle of wine to experience normal,  too suddenly understand “happy” only to find that no,  you’re just manic again; THERE IS NOTHING TO ROMANTICIZE ABOUT FLIP-FLOPPING THROUGH DIFFERENT MOODS AND PERSONALITIES LIKE A CHILD PUSHING ALL THE BUTTONS ON THE ELEVATOR. 

THERE IS NOTHING TO ROMANTICIZE ABOUT NOT KNOWING WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE IN THAT MOMENT.

These aren’t fads, not fun words to throw around and pretend you know what they mean. I don’t give a damn about the light jokes,  “oh-em-gee, I’m so bipolar!”, that’s fine, I don’t care,  you mean no harm,  and I’m not sensitive enough to let it bother me. 

But I can’t allow myself to even discuss in my personal journal the hell I’m in,  because the sudden trend of having a mental illness is just so IN right now, a diagnosis looks weak and like I’m making excuses for myself. 

See, the problem is we let our illnesses do the talking and let them be excuses instead of trying. 

Your disorder, real or imagined, does not give you the right to not take responsibility for your actions. It does not give you the right to treat people badly and expect free passes without apology because, “it’s just my *insert whatever here*”. No.

You are not entitled.

My mental disorder is NOT who I am, it’s a part of me,  yes,  I will never be rid of it. But that does NOT mean I will let u will control me; I will fight for myself every step of the way.

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