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“My first sin was the fear that made me old…”

How much can you age in a day? I can almost see the wrinkles forming beneath the mirror of my skin. And to think, I spend my days holding conferences with old ghosts, begging them forgiveness for forgetting the names that weren’t carved onto marble tombstones. Maybe if I play the old record one more time… Maybe then they’ll forget their torments. Maybe they’ll give me my scars back.

My scars, hexed across my heart, they’re all I have to remind me of who I am. My scars — my memories of old love and ancient song lyrics, maybe happier times. But I’ve always been a sad one, even as I laugh. I don’t mind the tears, they show me life, show others that it’s okay to cry sometimes. I heard once that if you can make beauty from pain, you’ve finally lived enough. I don’t think I’ve lived enough, but I’m one step closer to understanding the secrets whispered from the old stones beneath the earth. If you press your ear to the ground, you can hear the heartbeat. Shhh…… It’s time to listen.

“Your first sin was a lie you told yourself….”

Lyrics: The Gaslight Anthem, ‘The Navesink Bank’

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